but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize