You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to calm my uterus...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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