I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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