I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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