I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize