tell your sister to shave her snatch
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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