we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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