so explain again why im purple
no
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
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I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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