That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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