come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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