I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize