Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize