Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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