we have pet lesbian snakes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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