The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize