FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize