Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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