i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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