Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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