you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could make wine with my vomit
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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