Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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