great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Like sorry your dick wonโt suck itself?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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