I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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