i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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