No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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