I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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