she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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