I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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