I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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