DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
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Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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