I'm drive I can fine osifer
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize