I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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