Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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