some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize