I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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