I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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