remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize