I can text with my tongue
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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