I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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