did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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