I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
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I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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