Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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