So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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