Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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