My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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