DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize