I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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