Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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