Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my poor anus
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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