All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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